and i always come right back to the same point in my life.
and i always come back here.

Emily is putting all her stuffed animals to sleep.
We've got the giant bears and the kangaroo in the laundry bin.
the rest are going on mommy's bed.
she just learned jingle bells and thinks it counts as a lullaby.

whatever works.

i'm starting to sink

and the only one who can pull me up is me.

i want to be medicated

what the heck is 'Evony' and why is it an ad everywhere around these parts?

I don't want half mostly naked women on my screen.

and i certainly don't want to play whatever it is now.

or later.

or ever really.

its sleepy time baby, so lay down your head...'cuz if you're off to dreamland you've got to get to bed...

I've laid here so many nights staring at the ceiling

and in the stillness of things i get to breathe

she's sleeping soundly in her bed

and you're fast asleep in ours.

and me?

i'm just here.

i have nothing to do.

i have no lunch to make, no juice to fill, no laundry to fold, no boo-boo's to kiss, no ego's to lift, no budget to defend, no stories to read...

...no anything.

and all i want to do is go to sleep.

so why am i still staring at the spots on the ceiling? 

a lot of times i wake up in the middle of the night and flip over my pillow

you see, the other side is cool and un-squished

with that i drift back to sleep

and in those moments i'm always thinking how the grass probably is greener on the other side